you make breaking hearts look so easy.

one last refrain.

2008-10-05T19:42:50Z

Everyone has been removed from lanvaldear. If you haven't added or been added onto epee by now, then I am sorry but our time together is over. I think a week has been long enough to readd by your own volition--otherwise, please contact me. Thank you to everyone who has made my time here so special; maybe we'll one day meet again. ♥

doin' it wrong

2008-09-13T19:54:16Z

EJNAD TRAURIGCTRAURIG

gj livejournal I'm pretty sure THAT SECOND THING IS NOT A WORD. EDIT DAMMIT lol it died.

Pass a Secret Note ✘ Meme

you move the earth but now the sky is falling.

2008-09-07T15:29:34Z

THEASSOCIATIONMEME

This has always been my favorite meme so I thought I'd do a little revival today.

❶ Post your name.
➋ Reply to others with things that you associate with them (ie colors, foods, fandoms, songs, objects, concepts, etc. etc.).
➌ PROFIT.
(➍ BONUS points for associating with strangers)

➀ No wank. Yes love. ♥
➁ Pimp it. ⇩

(sorry, gais. I'll bbl to finish replying to people; marathoning Will and Grace while my parents are home because I'm not supposed to be online because my brain isn't stable yet or something ahahaha)

Voice Post

2008-08-28T16:21:41Z

143 ◙ I may not be brave or strong or smart

2008-08-06T00:46:24Z

D.Gray-Man → o7
Devil May Cry → o9
Final Fantasy/Kingdom Hearts → 11
Persona 3 → 28
Tales of → 27
Misc. → 11

Total → 93 icons

I LOL at the redhead invasion.

ANNAY'S ICONS THROUGH THE AGES: A VISUAL TOUR
December 2005: LOL omg my Narutard days; I remember them fondly ;; ♥ BUT ANYWAY compared to what thirteen-year-olds can do NOWADAYS? Oh yeah. These failed hardcore.

January 2007: And then I dropped off for a year until December 2006, when I got Tales of the Abyss and everything started from there. My first Tales of icons~that's...kind of all there is to say about them.

February 2007: AMBITION. I HAS IT.

March 2007: Dear diary--today I learned about textures. I also learned how to abuse textures. ♥ Annay (Crys back then).

May 2007: And um, this was what began my long-term love affair with light textures.

June 2007: OW. y halo thar selective coloring. I would post my own icons in ugly_icons if I wasn't too lazy/ashamed rofl.

July 2007: Alright alright, so things are starting to pick up now. My composition's actually starting to show itself.

August 2007: I had an especially productive period of Tales icons here. Still a little light-texture happy, but at least I kind of look like I know what I'm doing?

October 2007: lol more Tales icons. I also learned how to color manga--of course, it fails epically but HEY I'm generally pleased with myself at this moment in time.

November 2007: The only batch of Air Gear I ever did. Ever. lol I read the first...seventeen chapters and then gave up AHAHAHA. I also finally learn how to use selective coloring effectively; er sort of. Actually, no. Still working on that.

December 2007: I-I think I see a little more improvement. Also regard my growing fondness of black-border textures.

February 2008: First batch of icons on nocturnalites ♥ I think the change of scenery was a good thing.

SPECIAL: talesof_battle

March 2008: ICON EXODUSSS --from my massive 120+ therapeutic icon batch rofl.

April 2008: A rare moment of ingenuity--the ffxiii icons in this batch were some of my absolute favorites ever.

June 2008: Ohman I actually really like the coloring for this batch. After my super-long stint of being known for bright and cheery colors, we finally have something a little more advanced. I was very pleased with this batch ♥

July 2008: lol not a huge improvement, but different techniques.

August 2008: And finally, we come to the present. I have shown some proficiency of skill (read: I DON'T SUCK) and that's good enough for me. 8|b ♥

Really, it's hilarious how bad some of these icons were orz. ;;b Hope you had as great a laugh as I did going through these.

141 ◙ and where the journey may take me, I'll let these words be my guide

2008-08-04T13:58:27Z

Have you ever had one of those days where you wake up and just want to be so productive that you'll end up crashing at the end of the day?

I'm having one of those today. idk I think that for some reason daathic is part of it (because I love you bb ♥ talking to you always makes me really happy :Da;;) but lol who knows. Also the people I've designated as my Smile Brigade--you're a big part of it too, Babes. srsly it's impossible to stay mad/sad/pissy when you guys are there, making obnoxious innuendos and keeping that smile on my face. Without a doubt, we are one of the best groups out there (and THE sexiest group of household objects).

If there's one thing I don't say enough, it's how much I love my flist ♥ You guys really keep my spirits up, especially during the summer months when I don't feel like talking to anyone but my closest real-life friends. My best friend isn't here this summer either, the first summer that I can remember, so you guys have really been really helpful in keeping me from spiraling into a state of perpetual emo ahaha. So thank you, thank you so much.

Or maybe it's because I've now listened to enough Mozart to last me a lifetime--the IRS really needs to get some more creative music ahahaha ~~I'd suggest showtunes or Rufus Wainwright or something but lol I don't think they'd listen~~. We got our whole issue taken care of, though so that's good (I found a typo on my laolao's social security number in the Exemptions section). That means we get our additional $500 refund and that shows a possibility for maybe getting a new game system (if I even have time to play, ahahaha) so let's hope.

Time to check up on apps (it never ends rofl) and we'll see what other productivities will end up happening today. 8|b ♥

♥ I hope you don't think I'm abandoning you for someone different or better--my love will always burn brightly for you.
♥ I used to have what you guys have and I know what it tastes like. It's something I would most certainly like to taste again (and gorge myself on and never be without).
♥ I miss you in all kinds of stupid ways.
♥ I can't say that I can disregard what everyone says but I will, however distant, always be a friend to you. Thank you for depending on me.
♥ You've changed and I may not like what you've become but you are you and I am me; it's not my place to try and change you.
♥ Since you left, I've lost a bit of meaning in life. But that all ends now. I'll never live without you. I'll start living for you until the day we're together again and for the rest of our lives.

126 ◙ totally worth not sleeping for

2008-07-25T09:00:06Z

I SWEAR I'M GOING TO BED RIGHT AFTER THIS. But srsly I'm so proud of my self 8')b I did this all in one night. I still have a couple sets of graphics to do and the FAQ to finish up when I'm NOT completely dead amongst some other small things, but for the most part I think it'll be ready to open within the week. I'll pimp it later today, but uh. I'M REALLY PROUD OF MYSELF RIGHT NOW ALS;KDJF OKAY GOING TO BED BEFORE SOMEONE ON MY FLIST MURDERS ME ♥

The streets of the inner-city slums of Babylon hum with a tense energy that none can see but all can feel; it is curiously quiet. There have been no shootings for a week. The empty bullet casings littering the street curbs are days old. Yes indeed; all is quiet and all is calm—at least, for the moment.

Downtown, it’s a different story; alive with lights and sounds, beautiful people stroll down alabaster city blocks in their glitz and glamour. Everyone is wrapped up in the energy that fills the air—downtown Babylon is the center of the universe. Rock and roll hasn’t been invented yet, but drugs and sex are all the rage.

This is the world of Babylon Noir, a pan-fandom roleplay set in an alternate universe. Its name comes from two sources— biblical accounts tell of the city of Babel, a place that “united humanity,” where everyone spoke the same language. Babylon is the Greek equivalent of Babel (and sounds better than Babel Noir 8Db) and like the city, in the center lies the great Babylon Tower, the highest skyscraper in the world. The second part, Noir, translates into “black” in French and was named thus as a throwback to the subgenre “film noir,” classy and slick Hollywood crime dramas usually shot in high-contrast, low-key black-and-white. Likewise, the inhabitants of downtown Babylon are stylish and beautiful, but the city’s crime rates are high due to corruption in the police forces and the nitty-gritty lifestyle of the slums.

Your mod is lanvaldear. Everything else is yours.

intro/faq · apply . reserve a character · drop a character . main community · ooc community . log community

GOGOGO~
PS. I'll probably be doing some recruitments for another mod later when there are more applications being sent in, but for now I'm okay by myself. Does anyone want to be considered when the time comes? I'm only looking for one other person, so this is just a preliminary check to see who would be interested.

114 ◙ maybe in the next life we'll be lovers instead of dead

2008-07-14T03:55:03Z

friends-cut
It's a pretty big one; I've never done this before and I really, really hate to but at this point, I do believe it's necessary. There's been way too many negative feelings and I can't take it anymore. I hate it when people are overly emo; it's really annoying and I can't deal with the added stress. If you can't see this post, then you've been taken off my flist. Under the cut are individual reasons for why I decided to cut you.

Just kidding! I love all of you guys and just 'cause there's a little emo today doesn't mean I'm going to bail out and ditch you in your time of need. Never feel like you can't talk to me, even if I'm busy--I can't comment on your posts all the time but send me a PM or hit me up on a messenger. I will make time for you--I promise. ♥

(I'll be on AIM if you want to punch me for pulling such a bad joke rofl)

No hard feelings?

111 ◙ do you know why your heart stands still?

2008-07-11T01:08:21Z

THEONE
FRIENDING/CONVERSATION MEME

► Sometimes, all it takes is ONE click for two strangers to suddenly become best friends. This meme is meant to be a fast and easy way to get to know people, whether you're looking for friends or just a conversation. All you gotta do is post your username and ONE interest. It can be literally anything at all: a fandom, a pairing, a person, a hobby, a food--be serious or silly and think outside the box; the possibilities are endless!
► Don't be afraid to start a conversation with someone you've never talked to. We're here to share interests, after all ♥
► Let's keep the wank out; anon is turned OFF.

↓ pimp it out

THEONE
↑ looks like this

o97 ◙ Born to be a winner (JOHTO!); born to be a champion!

2008-06-19T19:48:47Z

HIATUS ♥
Don't party too hard~

o92 ◙ let the summer rain bring rest and shame and love

2008-06-16T00:36:55Z

Leave me an anonymous comment pouring your heart out. Say anything. Tell me your stories, your secrets, those things no one ever asks but you wish to tell. Tell me about your love, your hate, your indifference, your joy. Tell me about what's inside of you when you're reading through these entries on your friends list, and tell me why you continue to come back here. Tell me anything. Tell me what you really think of me or yourself. Anything.

Everyone else and their mothers has this on their posts too, but just in case you have anything to say to me anonymously, I'm at your service. It can be big, it can be small; I don't care as long as you can get it out there.

Anonymous is (obviously) enabled and IP logging is turned off (I think; I can't say I'm horribly familiar with toggling around with comment settings so let me know if anything weird is going on).

ergh in other words, I've been really tired lately for no reason and I'm thinking of going on hiatus. I'm leaving next week anyway and it wouldn't be a bad idea to devote some time to studying so my brain won't explode while I'm there-------even though we all know that's most likely not going to happen anyway. ;alskdjfa;lksdjf

I'm not in a bad mood or anything. Well--not because of anything in particular. There's nothing to be sad about but on a happiness scale of 1-100, I'm currently sitting at about a 45.

☂WITAB☆MEME☂

o72 ◙ baby please don't go; 'cause I love you

2008-06-01T05:15:22Z

PUBLIC because I think this is something everyone needs to hear.

Ahahaha flist~I wish everyone could just say to themselves "BUCK UP" and cheer up and everything would be peaches and cream. Alas. So I'm going to give my two-cents just...in general. And before I begin, no, I didn't name any names but there are some specific people who I thought of as I wrote this. I'm not nagging at you (so please don't think that), or telling you to STOP WITH YOUR EMO SHIT, MY GOD (since I do it too). I'm just letting you know my views based on what I've seen lately in patterns on my flist, particularly tonight, which is why I'm writing this instead of going to bed.

NEGATIVE SELF-TALK DOES NOTHING.

Resiliency is the ability to adjust, recover, bounce back from, and learn from difficult times.

Sometimes I feel like we lose sight of that.

I'm going to be honest and say that I'm tired of hearing some of you looking at yourselves so negatively. No, I'm not telling you to be more optimistic. I'm not an optimist myself--I'm a realist. And I know that bad times will only last as long as you let them. Negative self-image has a negative effect on every aspect of your life and every single person you know.

No, I'm not saying that it's going to be as easy as just saying "I'm a great person!" and then believing it. Negativity is like quick-sand--the more you struggle, the more it pulls you down and the harder it is to get out of it.

I'm not telling you that if you stop thinking that way that everything will be instantly better. But I AM telling you to get yourself out of the mindset that you're worthless, that you're hard to get along with, or whatever you're thinking about yourself. Because there IS some truth to it (you wouldn't just wake up one day and say "oh, I have no friends /sadface") and you're using negative self-talk as an excuse instead of directly confronting the problem.

I hear a lot of "I know my faults" and "I know that I have this problem." What I don't hear is "This is what I'm going to do to fix this problem." Acknowledging the fact that you have faults doesn't justify your reluctance to improve yourself--it just solidifies the fact that you're human. You need to take steps, TAKE AN INITIATIVE, to find a solution. And sleeping it off won't help either, for those (myself included) that say that it's just a passing phase and that it'll go away. It will come back, and it will come back stronger than before. Do me a favor. Nip the problem in the bud. Don't put it in the back of your brain to ferment and become something bigger than it has to be. Deal with it sooner than later. DEAL WITH IT NOW.

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Yes, we've all heard the quote, and frankly, it's true.

I know I'm probably going to tap a few nerves for this because you're really upset and just want to deal with this your own way, but I won't apologize for it because frankly, I don't like seeing you guys more reasonably upset than I have to. I'm running out of patience for the generic "don't forget that I still love you ♥" stuff that I usually see and use--it's genuine, believe me, but if I can actually try and help you rather than just sympathizing, then that will be much more effective. Some people say "I wish I could help you" and this is my way. It hurts me to see good people, people I CARE SO MUCH ABOUT going through hard times. And hey, if you care about me--if you CARE ABOUT YOURSELF, maybe you'll actually consider the logic in my proposition. I'm not saying it's the end-all solution--I'm just saying that it probably has some merit if you look into it.

LIFE GOES ON. IT REALLY DOES. I SWEAR. Wallowing in your misery and letting it sit and ferment does nothing. You can't wait for it to go away. You honestly can't because it won't and if you don't confront the problem, then you're wasting your time writing out everything that's wrong with your life instead of everything that's right.

You guys are all good people--I wouldn't have you on my flist otherwise. But just...guhh know that there's something you can do about it, okay? It's all about mental and emotional growth. If you're ever feeling discouraged or anything, I'm here. I'm not on your flist solely to take up room and spam you with stuff about my boring life; I am a resource. USE ME. ♥

Also...where did all this assertiveness come from? I swear--I must be channeling my inner-Natalia or something with this new name 8||||

[EDIT] ALSO KINDLY IGNORE ALL THE RUN-ONS AND COMMA ABUSE AS IT'S 12 IN THE MORNING AND I'M VERY TIRED ORZ

o58 ◙ the world carries on without you

2008-05-24T04:38:54Z

orz I just kind of need to rant, so you can skip this if you want; just me addressing a couple of different people (but not by name so lolol don't worry). Disabled because it's not a big deal.

☢ Technically, you didn't do anything wrong. Maybe we've just changed--I don't know, but somewhere along the way I've gotten tired of your attitude. You're still a child, and I know that. You're still growing up and trying to find yourself so it's not your fault. It really isn't, but I still can't help getting annoyed. You're just not as much fun to be around anymore and you keep trying to do what we do--you're an A+ bandwagoner and nice to talk to, but in terms of originality, you need to learn to find it.

You see, you have this tendency to...try and monopolize everything. It's like in every rp we're in together, you find a way to pull the attention to you and when it doesn't stay...well, I hate to say it, but your character is kind of a whore. Tsuna is the village bicycle. You're just a whore. They don't need to fall in love with everyone. Honestly.

So like I said before--it's not really your fault. I'll talk to you about it one day if you haven't grown out of it by then. Hopefully you'll at least be mature enough to listen and understand?

☢ "Ten Ways Gays are Un-American?" Puh-fucking-leez. I want to bitch you out so badly because none of those stupid reasons even make logical sense but it's the end of the year and I want to end on a good note. Guhh fuck you.

☢ I don't mind, but I wish you would have let me know first. idk I guess I just feel a little...abandoned? Like we don't really matter because you've moved on?

☢ A;LSKDFJA;LSKFJL;ASKJ FOR THE LAST TIME I'M FUCKING FINE. STOP WORRYING AND TRYING TO CONTROL EVERYTHING AND ALS;KDJFASL;KDFJ. MY GOD. YOU GUYS ARE SO BIPOLAR. JUST CHILL AND LET ME MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS FOR ONCE. I SWEAR I'M NOT A RETARD JUST 'CAUSE I HAVE AN ABNORMALITY NAMED LESLIE IN MY BRAIN.

...okay that last one was obviously about my parents. 8|

◙ life is so cool from a different point of view -- Q&A

2008-04-17T03:59:04Z

lolol why is it that I always have the best ideas while I'm in the shower? )8 Okay, so I'm prolly gonna redo my intro page because it's kind of...retarded. But I want you guys to help me out with it because what's the fun in introducing yourself without others' input and stuff?

So here's how it's gonna go down. Open posting; everyone can see it, everyone can post. It doesn't matter if you know me like family, want to get to know me better, or are just passing acquaintances; it doesn't even matter if you're on my flist. Ask me any question you want. It can be general ("what's your number one fandom?"), personal (family and school, my opinion on an issue, etc.), or even something silly like "what do your shower curtains look like?" Ask as many times as you want. I'm a pretty open person and unless it's WOAH WAY PERSONAL I'll most likely answer it. The questions and answers will go on the intro page for everyone to see~

There's no deadline/time limit, so every time there's a new question, I'll add it to the intro. :D

Have fun~

P.S. My shower curtains have lighthouses on them; thanks for asking ♥

(INTRO THROUGH HERE)

◙ oh oh oh, is there anybody home? INTRO

2008-03-21T01:10:27Z

she's become the very thing you feared.

crystalazer ► acquity ► defragmentize ► gunfare ► lanvaldear

Female (borderline androgynous) ; sixteen with an eighty-year-old soul ; made in China, lives in the 'burbs of a little town called Naperville.

I live for my lifelines. HUGE NATALIAFAG. Halfway decent at all I do and sometimes halfway is all you need. Mellowcore as can be and always on the lookout for new obscure philosophies. Realistic romanticist with a perchant for the perverse. Not one of the nicest people you'll ever meet, but I'll certainly try for you.

ANNAY. So self-explanatory.

icons · textures . musebox . music . words . crack